Ever wondered why making friends as an adult feels different—sometimes even awkward? As kids, we found buddies on the playground. As adults, the rules change. But here’s something wild: a 2023 Pew Research Center study claims that 35% of US adults say it’s been at least five years since they’ve made a new friend. Yet, loneliness is at an all-time high. If you’re feeling like you missed the friendship handbook post-college, you’re in good company.
Let’s talk about offices and workplaces. For many adults, the daily grind is also the friendship factory, whether it’s a traditional 9-to-5 or a remote gig. In fact, a LinkedIn survey in late 2023 revealed that 66% of working adults say they’ve formed at least one close friendship at work. Why? It’s simple: you spend more time with coworkers than some family members. All those meetings, breakroom chats, and Slack messages create prime bonding opportunities.
Coffee runs double as vent sessions. Lunch breaks often turn into rants about the boss. Work events (even the boring ones) force conversations that spill over into real life. If you’ve been resisting an afterwork happy hour or never joined the birthday card circuit, it might be time. Small gestures—like inviting someone to grab a coffee—can break the ice. Not sure how to take the leap? Start by being curious. Ask a colleague how their weekend went or what podcast they’re into lately. Nobody’s asking for lifelong loyalty right away. Friendships at work often start with tiny check-ins and inside jokes.
Remote work is a different beast. Since 2020, millions are working from their couch, in PJs, wondering how to make friends with the dog instead of a deskmate. Here, shared digital spaces—Slack, Zoom, Teams—step in. Some companies even run virtual coffee chats and game nights. Being the one to ask, “Anyone want to team up for trivia?” can set things in motion. Sometimes, even just commenting on a shared photo or meme in your company chat can spark something lasting. While not every office buddy will become your lifelong friend, these relationships add up and often spill over after hours, leading to dinners, game nights, or weekend hikes.
Outside of work, hobbies are where adults flock to connect. Remember, nothing makes friendship easier than shared interests. If you’re into books, a local or online book club can fast-track conversations. Fitness classes—yoga, CrossFit, or spin—are filled with people just as nervous about introductions. Even craft breweries and hiking groups have exploded since the pandemic, with Meetup.com reporting a 52% jump in new groups started in 2024.
The cool part about hobby groups? There’s a built-in topic of conversation. You don’t start cold; everyone’s there for stamp collecting, fantasy football, trail running—something specific. This means less chit-chat anxiety, more immediate connection. You can show up, participate, then linger to talk to someone next to you. Try this: next time you’re at a group event, introduce yourself to at least one person before you leave. Ask how long they’ve been involved, or what their favorite part is. Even if you feel awkward, people usually respond well because they’re looking for new friends too.
Volunteering is an underrated goldmine for adult connections. Whether it’s rescuing dogs at a shelter or cleaning up local parks, group volunteer projects offer easy openings for conversations and shared purpose. Bonus: You’re likely to meet others with similar values, which sets a strong foundation for any friendship. If you’re unsure how to find local causes, check VolunteerMatch or your city’s community boards. Start small. Consistent attendance builds trust and natural friendship rhythms, just like showing up for a weekly soccer scrimmage or painting class.
The internet isn’t just for memes and doomscrolling—it’s a real place to form real friendships. As of spring 2024, 47% of adults under 35 have met at least one close friend online, according to Statista. Social platforms, Facebook Groups, Discord channels, subreddits, and dedicated friend-finding apps (like Bumble BFF or Friender) let adults connect over shared interests or life stages. This is especially huge for folks who move cities or work odd hours.
Online friendships start with small engagement. Maybe you join a Facebook group for parents in your city or a Discord for fans of your favorite author. Introduce yourself. Comment on posts. Be consistent. A quick “Hey, I saw you love horror movies—have you checked out X?” can lead to longer conversations. The secret is to be genuine and put yourself out there without spamming.
Apps like Bumble BFF or Peanut (for moms) aren’t just random swiping. Most profiles highlight interests—the hiking crowd, art lovers, dog moms, or board game fans. If the thought of meeting people in person feels intimidating, digital-first friendships can ease the pressure. Many of these connections grow slowly, with messages and memes traded before eventually setting a coffee date.
Of course, online friendship-making has its quirks. Some people never want to meet offline; others look for connections strictly IRL. Be honest about what you want. If you crave in-person hangouts, say so when the topic comes up. No matter your style, tech makes connecting possible for people in even the most friendship-starved cities.
Anytime life flips the script—moving to a new city, graduating, becoming a parent, or starting over after a breakup—friendship doors swing open. Sure, it’s scary. But newness brings people together out of necessity. For instance, a 2022 YouGov poll found that 42% of adults who moved to a new city made at least three new friends within the first six months. Why? Everyone’s hunting for connection and solidarity.
If you’re moving, leverage local Facebook groups or your neighborhood’s Nextdoor to see what’s happening nearby. Look for “new to town” meetups, or even apartment complex gatherings. If you’re starting a new job or school program, introduce yourself to others who seem new too. “Hey, I just moved here—any tips on the area?” opens the door. Even if you don’t click with that person, they might introduce you to someone else who will become a good friend.
Parents, especially new ones, often bond with others at playgrounds, parent support groups, or kids’ classes. Yes, you might be wrangling a toddler, but that doesn’t mean you can’t chat with another parent about sleep woes or daycare drama. Those shared struggles are fertile ground for real talk. Don’t be afraid to take the initiative—sometimes all it takes is a “Mind if we join you over here?” to break the ice.
The tricky part is pushing past the initial awkwardness. You might feel like you’re back in high school, but putting yourself out there matters. New transitions can feel terrifying, but leaning into them can be a shortcut to friendships you never expected. Keep an eye out for lunchroom conversations, spontaneous post-class coffee runs, or parents who linger after drop-off. You’re not the only one hoping to connect.
So, where are you supposed to meet new friends? The real answer: everywhere—but it won’t happen if you don’t take a few risks. Making and growing adult friendships takes more intention than it did when you were building Lego forts with the neighbor kid. Life gets busy. Still, you need the emotional boost that good friends provide.
Practical tip #1: Show up. Repeat attendance at whatever group or gym or club you choose cuts through the “stranger” phase fast. Familiar faces greet each other, conversations deepen, and the groundwork for real friendship is set.
Practical tip #2: Make the first move. Text a new coworker after work, or ask someone in your pottery class to grab coffee. If you’re nervous, remember, most adults would love to be asked but are too shy to initiate themselves.
Practical tip #3: Follow up. Hanging out once is nice, but following up—“I had fun, want to meet again next week?”—cements your connection. Grown-up life is busy, so people appreciate clear signals that you like their company.
Practical tip #4: Use technology to your advantage. Set up group chats, share funny Reels, or simply check in with a gif or emoji. Consistency, not just intensity, builds lasting friendships.
Practical tip #5: Stay open to different types of people. Your best adult friend might not look or think like your childhood BFF. Sometimes, differences make for the most rewarding connections.
And don’t forget, friendships take work. They don’t just fall in your lap during adulthood. The good news? The people you meet in workplaces, hobby groups, online forums, or new phases of life are usually searching for connection too. Take the leap, and you might just end up with lifelong friends you never expected. Where you meet friends as an adult matters less than your willingness to reach out—and that single act can change your world.